Ages & Stages: Empathy

By Carla Poole, Susan A. Miller, EdD, and Ellen Booth Church

Do you think empathy can be taught as early as birth?   According to the authors; Carla Poole, Susan A. Miler,EdD, and Ellen Booth Church, in their article called, “Empathy”, the answer is yes.  The writers share their research on the importance of teaching empathy at a very young age.  Poole, Miller, and Booth break up their findings into stages; ranging from infants 0-2 months old to children 5- 6 years of age.  According to their research even newborns can start to learn empathy just by how a parent responds to their baby’s cries.  As a toddler reaches ages three to four years old, they learn compassion by modeling and mimicking their caregivers.  Then, by ages five and six their vocabulary skills are more advanced.  They are now able to process and convey their feelings and emotions to others.  Also, they start to pick up on other people’s feelings by observing their facial expressions, body language, and mannerisms.   Poole, Miler EdD, and Church believe that,”by modeling and encouraging empathy, Kindergartners will become compassionate members of a caring community”.

In this article the writers really place a huge emphasis on how important “Empathy” is in young children.  They believe that it can be taught as early as infancy.  Infants learn how to self sooth themselves when their caregiver’s first response to a fussy baby; is their voice.   However, if the baby persists to fuss, a gentle caress from the parent’s hand, along with the soothing sound of their voice, should help to console the little one.  Finally, in the event that your child continues to fret, you would then pick the baby up and hold him/her in the crook of your arms, to calm them down.  I have seen this work time and time again while working in the infant rooms at my first place of employment.  Later, as they became toddlers these babies were more able to adapt to self sooth themselves and others who needed it.

Toddlers are very impressionable, especially in the first three years.  They are very observant and they definitely love to mimic adults.  Therefore, teaching children through modeling is a great way for children to learn how to grow into compassionate children themselves.  You will need to scaffold them from time to time, offering cues to various situations, but you will soon note that they will become more considerate of other children's feelings. 

As they enter into their preschooler years, children become more aware of other people’s feelings.  When they see a peer upset, they can look back and reflect on their own similar experiences and try to offer them the same support that helped them feel better.  The children at this age become more vocal, as they develop a wider range of vocabulary.  They often offer words of encouragement when they see a friend feeling sad or discouraged.   Adult’s still need to set a good example on how to be loving, caring and compassionate human beings, even after this age.

In my opinion,the authors: Poole, Miller, and Booth, really are very knowledgeable in the field of early childhood development. Their research on "empathy" holds true for me.  Everything they have said, I have seen firsthand, thanks to working with children of all ages.  Empathy is a very important emotion, something all of us should possess.  If we teach it to our children when they are young, then we are giving them the tools necessary to be successful in life.